Motherhood as initiation, motherhood as mirror
Motherhood as Initiation, Motherhood as Mirror
From birthing a baby, or becoming a mother in another way, we are catapulted into a whole ‘nother experience of life, of ourselves.
The speed at which things happen or are expected to happen can have us feeling like we haven’t quite caught up yet.
Like: we’re a mum, yes. But what does that actually mean? Who actually *am* I as this version of me?
And rightly so: we’re built to get on and care for the small ones, and not so small ones, in our charge.
But often there is an emotional element, a spiritual element, which modern life doesn’t allow full space, for, which goes unhonoured, unexplored.
Motherhood is an initiation, and a mirror - it can bring up all sorts of things about the way we were mothered; about things we longed for but didn’t experience; we can find our children (seemingly) triggering us, poking at old wounds or shadows; we can feel disoriented - I often hear from women: ‘I longed to be a mum and now I’m not sure I’m 100% enjoying the ride.’
That can result in feelings of being at sea in our mothering. Not quite finding ourselves. Just trying to keep afloat.
And that can lead to frustration, or a kind of disassociation: thoughts like: ‘It will be better when they’re older’. ‘It would be easier if… I didn’t have to parent these particular kids, but could parent those ‘easier-looking’ ones over there.’
And then feelings of guilt or sadness that we’re not enjoying it more, that we’re wishing away time, or even wishing away our kids.
All so normal. All so understood. Motherhood is massive.
All is absolutely welcome.
There is no feeling or experience too dark, too shameful, too sad, too difficult.
You are loved.
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If you resonate with what you have read here, there will be another round of The Cherished Mother - a 5 month journey for a group of 6 women beginning later in the year: you can register your interest by emailing kate@sacredopenings.com and I will add you to our list of ladies keen to join.